Episode 18 - Accountability, Commitment & Happiness

December 28, 2016

Summary: 

Happiness Simplified is a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. In Episode #18, Kayvon and Dai talk about accountability. Tune in to hear how motivation and commitment go hand in hand, the negative and positive impact of accountability, and why we need to set our goals into major and minor goals. 

Time Stamped Show Notes: 

  • 00:40 – Introduction to the podcast 
  • 01:00 – Accountability is telling someone like a coach or a friend to check in with you about where you’re at with your goals and responsibilities 
  • 01:20 – Accountability helps Dai determine if his clients are reaching their goals or not 
  • 01:53 – Kayvon shares how accountability has helped him and his business 
  • 02:06 – “Many of the business owners started their business because they want to solve their own problems” 
  • 02:45 – Kayvon signed-up with multiple accountability coaches to help him focus on the things that he needs to do 
  • 03:25 – Kayvon shares to his clients and friends what has made him more productive 
  • 03:39 – Kayvon has an accountability coaching service called “Strive” 
  • 04:18 – Accountability has both a positive and negative impact on people  
  • 04:42 – About the book, Accountabilty: Taking Ownership of Your Responsibility  
  • 05:00 – How commitment coaching is similar to accountability coaching 
  • 05:25 – The difference between motivation and accountability 
  • 05:58 – Why motivation and commitment go hand in hand 
  • 07:55 – Some people think that motivation has an off 
  • 09:10 – People over or underestimate themselves on what they can do 
  • 09:37 – Having the right estimation of one’s ability is key 
  • 10:48 – In every habit that you wish to start, start small, then increase the work gradually 
  • 13:25 – Get a regular check-in on the process of reaching a goal 
  • 15:00 – Be with a group of people with like-minded goals 
  • 15:23 – Dai shares how he applies accountability as a fitness coach 
  • 16:25 – The biggest win that Kayvon has seen is the happiness of achievement 
  • 16:45 – “One of the greatest sources of happiness is your own point of view about yourself” 
  • 18:45 – Keep the mindset of knowing that things change—it’s hard in the beginning then gets easier as it becomes a habit 
  • 20:41 – 90 days is the perfect time frame to create significant change and short enough to stay connected 
  • 21:30 – Come up with some tasks to finish for daily accountability  
  • 22:00 – Separate your daily goal with a major and minor goal 
  • 23:40 – Do goal setting in the evening and let your mind subconsciously think of it 
  • 24:00 – Tell someone about your goal 
  • 25:55 – Visit Kayvon’s beta website of his coaching service – TheAccountable.me  
  • 26:40 – Give us a feedback and share with us what piqued your interest 

3 Key Points: 

  1. Stay connected with your goals—emotionally and intellectually. 
  1. The perfect time frame to create significant change and short enough to stay connected is 90 days. 
  1. Your point of view about yourself is one of the greatest sources of happiness. 

Credits 

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Episode 17 - The Summit of Greatness

December 21, 2016

Summary:

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. This week, Kayvon and Dai are going to share their experience from the Summit of Greatness. They’ll talk key takeaways, memorable moments, and the speakers that made an impact on each of them.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

  • 01:20 – Dai and Kayvon have just come back from The Summit of Greatness

  • 01:33 – Lewis Howes’ The School of Greatness Podcast

  • 02:11 – Dai and Kayvon will summarize their key takeaways from the summit

  • 03:35 – Lewis’ idea was to ‘bring you home’

  • 04:06 – How Kayvon stands out of the crowd

    • 04:47 – Kayvon had some trouble in school because of how he looked

    • 04:53 – For years, Kayvon tried to hide and blend in the crowd

    • 05:15 – We all stand out in our own ways

  • 05:45 – Kayvon’s goal in this event was to cultivate connections

    • 06:12 – Unique names get attention

  • 06:43 – When something requires extra work, people give up too easily

  • 07:34 – Kayvon was nicknamed Special K –which turns out to be a street name of a drug

    • 07:58 – Kayvon started using his nicknames’

    • 08:25 – His nickname facilitated the start of many conversations with new people

  • 08:46 – What Dai thinks of Kayvon’s intro at the summit

  • 10:11 – Dai’s intro makes a genuine connection

  • 10:37 – People found Dai very approachable

  • 10:58 – Dai’s introduction always includes him being a dad

    • 11:39 – It’s your family that defines you

    • 11:56 – Be the kind of man you want your daughters to marry

    • 12:08 – Be the type of person people want to hang out with

    • 12:25 – Being open attracts people

  • 13:07 – The summit was about networking and meeting new people

  • 14:18 – Speakers who stood out

    • 14:25 – Matthew Hussey – The Dating Guru

      • 15:36 – Matt’s Confidence vs Competence

      • 16:42 – Matt’s “Don’t be a sardine, be a tuna”

    • 17:03 – Christian Howes – #1 Jazz Violinist

    • 18:13 – Christian was a breath of fresh air for Kayvon

  • 19:03 – Adam IN-Q delivered a very powerful message

    • 19:54 – Kayvon felt refreshed and recharged

  • 20:14 – Ryan Blair: Rock Bottom to Rock Star

    • 20:57 – Ryan’s honesty had Kayvon

    • 21:44 – Ryan’s documentary on Youtube

    • 23:08 – We are about uplifting one another

  • 24:31 – Stacy London on what fashion is and what fashion is not

    • 25:05 – Fashion is an industry that is based on insecurities

    • 25:27 – Style is about expressing yourself and who you are

    • 26:20 – Dai’s takeaways on Stacy

  • 28:02 – Fabio Viviani

    • 31:19 – Fabio went from rags to riches and from rags to riches again

  • 31:51 – Kyle Maynard

    • 32:32 – No Excuses by Kyle Maynard

    • 32:43 – Kyle was born with no legs and no arms

    • 33:03 – Kyle’s parents brought him up like a normal kid

    • 33:27 – Kyle played football, did MMA and won titles, and crawled to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro

  • 34:37 – Dai’s friend Hersh’s story

    • 37:46 – We gain inspiration from certain people in our lives

  • 39:15 – Kayvon is glad he went to the summit

  • 39:50 – Get out there and start talking to people

  • 40:57 – Don’t be too quick to judge

  • 41:23 – Please leave a review on iTunes!

  • 41:40 – Connect with Dai and Kayvon on Twitter

 

3 Key Points:

  1. Networking is essential in all aspects of entrepreneurship.

  2. Remember to list the takeaways from every new lesson learned.

  3. When you’re real, when you’re genuine—that’s when you inspire and uplift.

Credits

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 16 - Personal Challenges and Past Trauma

December 14, 2016

Summary:

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast where we teach you about simple things to make your life awesome. In Episode #16, Kayvon and Dai discuss the key to clarity, exercises to help you find it with greater ease, and how confusion is frequently tied to challenging childhood experiences.

Access to our Quick Life Enhancer: bit.ly/2dQJmkR

Time Stamped Show Notes:
● 00:58 – Dai shares how he’s doing while on the road
● 01:31 – How Kayvon is doing
o 02:05 – Kayvon’s father had health issues
o 03:34 – Kayvon’s friend on EMDR therapy
● 04:10 – “We all have memories that are traumatic”
● 04:33 – Starting to live your life from belief
o 05:09 – Identifying beliefs from early childhood
● 05:32 – The EMDR therapist alters the association and puts a new belief
o 06:51 – Kayvon underwent EMDR sessions
o 07:47 – “Stories develop in our minds through habitual choices”
● 09:25 – Habits as an excuse
● 10:08 – “We use different reasons as alibis to NOT change”
● 10:50 – Kayvon’s example from medical school
● 11:56 – Action orientation
● 12:45 – EMDR is pragmatism
o 13:51 – Kayvon researched about EMDR
o 14:48 – EMDR is Kayvon’s way to get clarity
● 15:32 – Dai turning away from alcohol
● 17:51 – A lot of personal habits are influenced early in life
● 18:15 – Living in the same pattern is similar to addiction
● 19:22 – Where Kayvon is right now in his EMDR therapy
● 20:33 – “Let the new level of clarity come up”
● 21:30 – Take time to explore and navigate
● 22:26 – TRY this EXERCISE
o 23:01 – Get a sheet of paper
o 23:14 – Column 1 – Write…
o 23:47 – Column 2 – Write…
o 24:04 – Column 3 – Write…
● 25:24 – The freedom model
● 27:42 – Some habits are just automatic
● 28:07 – Try the two exercises in one
● 29:48 – We encourage you to participate!
● 30:30 – Connect with Dai and Kayvon on Twitter

3 Key Points:
1. Beliefs come from personal memories.
2. Memories play a great part on your life choices.
3. People use reasons to use as alibis for not changing.

Credits
Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 15 - On Being Raw, Real and Honest

December 7, 2016

Summary:

 

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things you can do to make your life even more awesome. In Episode #15 Kayvon and Dai discuss the normalcy of up and down experiences, and how the common constraints and definitions we tend to impart upon ourselves are damaging.

 

Time Stamped Show Notes:

 

      00:28 – Introduction to today’s topic

 

      00:46 – Dai shares his year of transition and how it impacted him

 

      02:23 – “All of us experience Ups and Downs”

 

      03:48 – Dai discusses his experiences from the road

 

o      05:24 – “I was physically tired…And it shifted to a negative direction”

 

      06:13 – Remember that tomorrow is a new day with a new opportunity

 

      07:39 – “The way we talk about life is how it moves through our head”

 

      08:43 – Kayvon’s experiences from the past and how those have changed him

 

      10:02 – Our brain gives meanings to non-specific, non-correlated facts

 

      10:28 – “Behaving in a certain way doesn’t have to be negative”

 

      11:01 – All of us, not matter our peculiarities, are normal human beings

 

      12:57 – Strategies on dealing with ups and downs that worked for Dai and Kayvon

 

o  14:42 – Stop focusing on the negative

 

o  14:59 – Improve upon the positive

 

o  16:32 – Look at the physicality (reality) of situations—don’t let your imagination wander too much

 

      19:50 – Subscribe on iTunes!

 

3 Key Points:

 

1.     Every person experiences Ups and Downs–it’s normal!

 

2.     Investing energy on negativity thoughts will only fuel negative actions.

 

3.     Every day is a new opportunity.

 

Credits

 

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 14 - Tough Love Gets Results

October 19, 2016

Episode 14

Summary:

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. In Episode #14 Kayvon and Dai talk about tough love. Listen in for a routine to help you take responsibility for the good and bad in your life; advice on dealing with people who are hurting; and what you can learn from disgraced baseball player Pete Rose.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

     00:45 – Introduction

     02:40 – Voicemail and communication

     05:00 – People now use apps like Roger for asynchronous voice communication

     07:00 – “Tough love” - how does it work?

     07:35 – Toughness can be honest

     08:30 – What does Kayvon answer if his daughter asks “Are you okay?”

     08:45 – You can be honest or not - Kayvon tries to be honest when he’s not okay

     10:30 – “Velvet boxing gloves” - giving tough advice from a place of love

     12:30 – Dai often deals with people who are hurting deeply

     14:00 – Before Kayvon started dealing with his physical health, he was dealing with his mental health

     15:00 – Reached out to Dai for help

     17:20 – Sometimes you need to give tough love to yourself

     17:40 – A 5-minute exercise to practice tough love

o      On a piece of paper, write 3 things that went wrong today and ask how you contributed to that result

o      Then write 3 things that went right today and how you contributed to that result

o      Repeat each night or as often as you can

     20:20 – Dai worked in sales - and he used to ask himself how he could have dealt with a customer differently

     22:00 – Pete Rose used to keep a baseball notebook so he couldn’t be caught out with the same pitch twice

     23:02 – The Happiness Project - think of 3 things every night that have brought you happiness

     25:40 – Affirmations and gratitude work. Be happy, grateful, and proud of yourself

     26:40 – Tell us what you’re happy about and proud of! It would make our day.

 

3 Key Points:

1.       Don’t be humble. Don’t be cocky - but be proud of who you are and what you’ve done.

2.       Be honest with the people around you - even when it’s tough

3.       Write down what went wrong in your day and what went right, and how you contributed. By taking responsibility for the good and bad you’re showing yourself tough love.

 

Credits

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 13 - Why Empathy is the Most Under-Utilized Human Emotion

October 5, 2016

Episode 13

Summary:

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. In Episode #13 Kayvon and Dai talk about empathy. Listen in to hear about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, how empathy is a skill like any other, and what you can do to develop it.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

     00:40 – Introduction

     01:43 – “Empathy is the most under-utilized human emotion”

     02:15 – Empathy is both and emotion and a skill

     03:22 – Dealing with your own challenges lets you get closer to how other people are feeling

     04:20 – Kayvon had English as a second language - so he knows the definition of ‘empathy’ and ‘sympathy’

     05:25 – Sympathy is acknowledging others’ emotions - empathy is understanding them

     06:30 – People are very quick to judge

     07:50 – How do you go about teaching yourself empathy?

     09:00 – Life experience helps to produce empathy

     11:30 – Sometimes there is too much of an experience gap to empathise

     15:00 – Bedside manner - how do doctors manage empathy?

     17:20 – Patients are helped by a doctor’s empathy

     19:15 – Parents want nothing more than to make their kids’ sadness go away

     20:15 – Empathy is a skill that we need to practice

     21:02 – Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes before the next episode

     21:30 – Tell us how it goes! We’d love to hear back from you.

 

3 Key Points:

1.       Empathy isn’t practised enough - people are often quick to judge

2.       To practise empathy, turn to your own experiences. When have you felt something similar?

3.       Honest connections rely on empathy

 

Credits

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 12 - How Not to be a Victim of Circumstances

September 21, 2016

Episode 12

Summary:

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. In Episode #12 Kayvon and Dai talk about being a victim of circumstance. Tune in to hear why pain and suffering don’t have to make you a victim, how to make sustainable changes in your life, and the guru who taught his students to “remember yourself”.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

     00:45 – Introduction

     02:25 – “Being a victim of circumstances”

     02:45 – What are the concepts there? Can we unpack those ideas?

     03:22 – “When we’re victims, our mental state is challenged”

     04:25 – There is real victimisation - but how do we deal with tough situations?

     05:07 – In his early life, Dan adopted a victim mentality

     07:08 – Dan gave up drinking - after realising that even if circumstances gave him ‘permission’ to drink, it was something that was making him unhappy.

     07:50 – Making changes is about taking control of your own life, even when it’s incredibly hard

     09:30 – Changes start with yourself - then with others to help you sustain the change

     11:00 – “We are people with power and choice”

     12:05 – How do we deal with the real situations that cause us pain?

     14:00 – Acknowledging that you are still there, and matter, in painful circumstances

     15:15 – “Stop and remember yourself”

     17:30 – You do matter in your life

     18:40 – In school we learn to highlight all of the wrong things

     20:30 - “I’d rather be Tigger than Eeyore”

     21:40 – What do you think? Connect with us on social media.

 

3 Key Points:

1.       Hardship and pain are real - but you always have a choice about what attitude you take

2.       Changes start with yourself, but to be sustained they need help from other people

3.       Stop and remember yourself. You take up space. You matter.

 

Credits

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 11 - Life is Black and White

September 7, 2016

Episode 11

 

Summary:

 

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. In Episode #11 Kayvon and Dai talk about eliminating grey areas. Tune in to hear why Kayvon hates backup plans, how to escape analysis paralysis, and a tip for tough decisions from Benjamin Franklin.

 

Time Stamped Show Notes:

 

     00:35 – Introduction

 

     01:30 – Dai tried parkour for the first time today

 

     03:17 – Kayvon attended a relationship workshop

 

     04:22 – Today’s topic: “No gray areas”

 

     04:55 – “You either commit or you don’t. Make a final decision.”

 

     06:07 – One of the reasons we don’t make decisions is that we ask the wrong questions

 

     06:30 – Ask yourself why you’re doing things: and then make a decision. Any decision.

 

     07:50 – ”You can have everything you love in life as long as you give up everything you don’t.”

 

     09:30 – Get rid of the gray areas and backup plans

 

     11:00 – How do you help people act instead of weighing up the options?

 

     13:05 – Pick something. You don’t have to kill the other options: but pick one option and give it a try

 

     14:48 – Benjamin Franklin would list all the pros and cons of any choice

 

     15:30 – Listing choices and taking time to weigh them up is a great way to get out of your own head

 

     18:00 – “Make the sale and figure out the logistics after”

 

     19:17 - “Do or not do: there is no try”    

3 Key Points:

 

1.       Make a choice. Any choice. Action is always better than paralysis

 

2.       You can have time and energy for what you love if you eliminate the things you don’t

 

3.       Take some time to work on your choices - brainstorm, create a list, or use another tool to get out of your head

 

 

 

Credits

 

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 10 - Get vs Give

August 17, 2016

Episode 10

Summary:

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. In Episode #10 Kayvon and Dai talk about give and take. Tune in to hear their thoughts on the pleasures of giving, how creating a community uplifts you, and why it’s sometimes good to be selfish.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

     00:30 – Introduction

     01:12 – “Get versus Give”

     02:17 – Kayvon connected with Dai through his free Sunday Funday project

     03:02 – What has Dai got from his giving act?

     04:35 – Dai wanted to create a community of people who would uplift each other

     05:55 – “I wanted to pay it back”

     08:00 – Dai finds the atmosphere in the group uplifting even on his toughest days

     09:50 – ”You are the most important person in your life”

     11:00 – Be selfish - let yourself recharge

     12:00 – “Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others”

     12:45 – Kayvon’s advice is to be your kindest version of yourself to the people you love the most

     13:30 – There’s a relationship between getting and giving: give and take

     15:00 – Give people the opportunity to help you

     16:00 – If you share a dream, suddenly you aren’t ‘asking for help’ - you’re giving people the opportunity to come together and help build a dream with you

     19:17 - There’s no separation between getting and giving. Giving makes us feel good. Getting is a connection with other people.

     20:25 –  What are your thoughts? Help us learn from you!

3 Key Points:

1.       You are the most important person in your life: be kind to yourself and let yourself recharge

2.       Allow people the opportunity to help you

3.       There’s no separation between ‘getting’ and ‘giving’ - it’s all part of connection and exchange

Credits

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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Episode 9 - Openness to Being Wrong

August 3, 2016

Episode 9

Summary:

Welcome to Happiness Simplified, a weekly podcast about the simple things that can make your life awesome. In Episode #9 Kayvon and Dai discuss what to do when things go wrong. Tune in to hear why you should admit your mistakes, how to talk to someone with different core beliefs, and why sometimes it’s best to give up and move on.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

     00:36 – Introduction

     02:15 – “Is this the right hill to be climbing right now?”

     02:50 – How do you remain open to being wrong?

     04:02 – For every successful project, there are 9 failures

     04:45 – “Every No means you’re one step closer to a Yes”

     06:50 – Kaycon usually realises he’s wrong when someone else comes into the equation

     08:15 – Admitting your mistakes does not make you a weaker person - it just makes you a person

     10:05 – When Dai started to admit he was wrong, he found his relationships functioning better

     11:20 – “Learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on”

     13:30 – “When you’re coaching - what’s the process of teaching someone whose core beliefs are different to yours?”

     14:20 – The best thing is to assess the level of their emotional intensity at that moment

     15:00 – If there’s a chance for a conversation, then try to ask questions that open up new possibilities in their mind

     15:50 – “Sunk cost” - Sunk costs shouldn’t affect the decisions that you make about the future

     19:00 – It can be hard to let go of the time, energy, and money that you’ve poured into a project. But whether you continue or not, the sunk cost is gone.

     20:25 –  What’s a sunk cost that you found hard to let go of? And what did you learn from it?

 

3 Key Points:

1.       There are nine failures to every success - so don’t let them get you down

2.       Forget sunk costs. They’re lost, whatever decision you make about the future.

3.       Avoid arguing with people. Try to ask questions that open up the possibilities in their mind.

 

Credits

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives

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